Spontaneously Fermenting With Wild Yeast Taking Too Long?

Raz's Fine Ales is proud to announce that we've developed a state of the art and technologically advanced new method for dramatically and drastically speeding up the spontaneous fermenting of your beer with wild yeast. These days, who has time to wait for things to fall in from the rafters or be blown in by the wind or come out of a barrel? Instead, we send children out into the woods to run around and play for a day. When they come back, we pitch the children directly into our oxygenated wort. If the children have been active enough to achieve a healthy layer of funk during their daily adventures, we've seen fermentation start up within mere hours of pitching. No children in your brewery? No problem. Ours are available for a minimal fee. Please email for a quote. Cheers!